The desire to win drives the urge to say “I told you so” when someone finally acknowledges that he made a wrong decision you had argued against. It leads us to put down or ignore our friends or teammates to feel superior. It incentivizes us to withhold information to give ourselves an edge over others. It holds us back from being accountable and admitting when we’re wrong.
It’s that desire to win — regardless of whether winning matters or not — that many initially successful people struggle with. Unfortunately, the interactions we have in many of our relationships — unlike debate rounds — are not transactional. With debate, you argue for 45 minutes, you win or lose, and then you move on. With our personal and work relationships, today’s interactions affect tomorrow’s.
from:http://www.theeffectiveengineer.com/blog/winning-isnt-always-the-goal
